wow.

I will have been in Auckland for 3 weeks tomorrow.

I don't know where the times gone, it seems like Mum could have dropped me off yesterday. But it also seems like I haven't seen her, or anyone for that matter, in too long.

It is still dawning on me that I really am in the place that will be my home for three years. It was so far away at some point and then unexpectedly it arrived so fast and I wasn't ready for it.

It is definately an up and down process. I have incredible ups but at some point I have to go down and I normally go down pretty hard it seems.

For the first week I had Jenna. For the first week I had something to keep myself occupied with.
I was so busy I never really realised that I was actually here.
I was at the LTT, I was hanging out with an America, I was barely at the hostel.... it was so unreal.
I didn't even get time to think about home.

Then Jenna left, the LTT ended and suddenly I was always at the hostel.
Between classes I was just lost and purposeless. I had no friends and no work to do. So that was the downer, the first few days dragged me down and I just didn't know what to do to get out of it.
But slowly it got better. I found work to do. Occasionally I'd hang out with people, arrange coffee or lunches with people I already knew and it kept me sane.
It has been harder than I thought making actual Uni friends. Two of my lectures are big, I never see the same people twice. I had all these ideas of what it was going to be like, that it would immediately be easy , that I would automatically find a good friend. I eventually stopped to realise that it all might be a process, an ongoing challenge, that God was stretching me through this and boy has it been hard.
But in this pain, out of my comfort zone, in something strange I am seeking Him.
He is what is holding me up. He has answered my prayers.
He has given me a close friend who has made everything so much easier to bear.

But now, two weeks into lectures and although I still don't have any real Uni friends I am content in knowing that God will provide.
This time has led me to be incredibly close to Him. To put aside time for Him and just lie in His presence.
The pain still comes, I still miss home, I still miss friends and the comfort I had, but it is becoming more bearable.
I am starting to understand that I need this pain. It is good pain, healthy pain, the type of pain and hurt that grows you more than you'd realise.
I have realised He keeps His promises. He has given me what I need.
I have Zoe and the Horizon crew. I have my apartment buddies. & more than that, I have Jesus.




But everythings going well. I like my papers and although they are a lot of work, I love doing it. They are fascinating and something that completely interests me. They're things I can be passionate about.

I promise I'm going to update this more ha.
I've been bad.
xx