worry

My thoughts have been hard to track lately, this of course being the reason for my lack of blogging. I can't tell what I'm focussing on, where my attention is and what is occupying my mind, there is nothing substantial, nothing huge, just small flickers across my imagination that entertain me for awhile and pass, to fade away so that when I look back later I will remember nothing at all.

I was going to share about Auckland, but I can't be sure what Auckland was like. I'm sitting on the edge of some realization but can't tip myself over the edge to discover it.
It's frustrating to say the least.
I think what I'm going to discover is that I'm afraid. I'm am going to be in Auckland for 4 whole years and my mind is filled with a whole bunch of what if's.
What if I don't like Auckland? What if I don't like my course? What if I go to Church and don't make any friends? What if my husband isn't waiting in Auckland. What if it isn't all what I imagined? What if it's just a big disappointment?

On the Saturday night Darn, Mae and I were on Queen St at 7pm at night on our way to get dinner and the air was mixed with the smell of lovely rich spicy food's from the resturants but tarnished by the heavy cigarette smell that lingered around.
On the Friday we had also gone to Queen st. I explored Borders, Real Groovy and a market in Aotea square and was excited by all the neat stuff I found only to be remember I was going to be a poor student next year and wouldn't have the money for luxeries.

I wonder if Auckland is going to be fun for the first few months while I explore and then get boring?
I wonder whether I will have good friends like the ones I have here at home?

And then asfter thinking all that I though;
'Glory, I worry far too much for someone who should be trusting in my Lord'

Matthew 6:33-34
Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness
and all these things will be given to you as well.
Therefore do not worry about tomorrow
For tomorrow will worry about itself
Each day has enough troubles of it's own.

Maybe I should really put my money where my mouth is and start trusting God.